And… Cue frustration

Well, I know that all great things come to those who wait. But I am starting to feel a little discouraged. I was so excited when I got my first hourly position. And yeah it didn’t work out, but I learned a lot from the experience.

Now I’m back on Odesk with all these obvious “not going to be me” job openings sitting there. And not a one has told me to take a flying leap yet so I can get the bid back for future use. I know it’s a numbers game the more I send out the more chance of landing one opening.

I’m thinking about dipping my toes back into Elance. Maybe work on some fresh sample content. I’m refreshing myself on business writing. That should come in handy.

The top frustration though are the bloody tests!! I have yet to make a perfect 5 and it really ticks me off. I have always sucked at tests though.

So, anyone have pointers to improve my profile? I really am looking for a steady gig. It would be nice to work when the sun is out.

One Year Ago Today…

One year ago today, I was frantically organizing a year’s worth of preparation for our ring ceremony.  My husband and I had been legally married since October, when we moved into together.  It had been a whirl wind courthouse marriage attended by my mother-in law, my sister-in law/best friend, my old former college roommate, and my husband’s aunt.  This was his first marriage and my second.  We had bought “place holder” rings for the day since we wanted my wedding ring to be placed on my finger in the presence of the whole family.

I grew up in a very proper Christian household, so the fact that I would want to be a wife before cohabitation was not a surprise to my family.  My father told me he would make an attempt to attend the original wedding date May 5th. (He wasn’t able to make it back for that day either.)  My mother took the same attitude.  We used simple costume jewelry for the vows and then celebrated with pizza.  It was a very romantic and joyful day.  (And then I came into work that night.)  My favorite memory of the day was when the county recorder told us if we had children, they will have *fabulous* hair.   I still smile at that.

Flash forward to May 5th, 2012.  I had requested two full weeks of vacation time for the family ring ceremony and honeymoon.  (This would be my first vacation time ever.)  I frantically plotted hair appointments, nail appointments, and quickly unpacked the loot I had been storing up for the party.  My bridesmaids and I put together “kid boxes” for the children.  They included a small box of crayons, a coloring book (Spring themed), a bottle of bubbles, Chinese finger traps (hubby’s idea), and a pinwheel in each box.  A dollar store had been my prime shopping destination for the bulk of that year.  We slapped monogrammed labels onto water bottles and stocked up on single serving kool-aid and lemonade packets.  We chopped and arranged veggie and fruit trays.

I was glad I wore white on that blistering hot day!

My mother made my wedding dress, a simple white dress with blue beads sewn on the bodice.  She also ordered sandwich trays for food.  A gesture I still consider warmly today.  She also arranged all my flowers and added the special beaded swags I had hand strung for the bouquets.  I was so glad to have family support.

It had rained that whole week and the ground was a soupy mess, but it was 90 degrees and sunny on our wedding day. (My husband mentioned he would have preferred the rain.) It was a good thing we went with water, it was guzzled by the case in that heat.  The younger children played in the ice vats till their fingers froze and they began to cry.  But even after the tears began, they would go right back to the icy water to keep cool.  Our officiate was an acquaintance from work and he wore a long black robe in that heat.  The poor man was sweating buckets in the afternoon sun.  Not to mention wiping sweat from his balding head.  We felt so sorry for him.

My cousin made our cake as a wedding gift, it was definitely an expression of us as a couple.

Those cupcakes were *gone* by the end of the day. One of my cousin’s confiscated a box of them. My mother was so disappointed. He didn’t get the turnips from the veggie trays though. My grandmother saved those for my husband (those are his favorite

I had added one special touch to the card table, two sets of a dozen roses.  One yellow, the other white.  The yellow were for my mother, it was our tradition to present her with yellow roses on special occasions.  The white were for my mother-in-law.  We had lost my father-in law in the summer and she was still coping with the loss.  She actually cried when I told her the white roses were for her.  Both cards read, “To Mom.”

A white bird cage card basket, a glass plate of candles, and my mothers’ roses. What a display!

This is certainly a week I will always remember fondly.  Young brides!  And second brides!  Remember when planning a wedding, it will be the nice little touches you will remember.  Not the fancy dresses, the expensive flower arrangements, or even the watchful and adoring eyes.  You will remember: the feel of your beloved’s hand, the nervous smile he gives you as you come toward him down the aisle, and the moment you finally say… “I do.”

And in my case, the whirling of my head as my bridesmaids tried to set-up the final touches, the smothering heat, and sweating… lots and lots of sweating.  The sense that my family was actually proud to see make this commitment. And that day at the court house… magic. <3

Oz’s Call to Arms

Ode to the Baum classic, and the infectious musical

Analysis: Hyla Brook, by: Robert Frost

I decided to keep doing what people like to read.

Planning for the Future

Well I’ve dove head first back into the Odesk scene. I’ve also reconnected with Helium.com.

Seriously if well crafted reading is your idea of a fun afternoon check out Helium. There are all sorts of topics; books, politics, social issues, cultural phenomenons, etc. It fits any reader’s taste.

As a matter of fact I’m going to put on my critiquing goggles on soon and try to raise my rating score. Now I don’t know if this still stands after the change of hands a couple of years ago, but it use to be you didn’t have to be “a writer” to join. There were people who just hung around the rating section and took part in that arena.

Around Christmas time my cousin told me he wanted to be a writer. He asked me how to go about it. We live in the cultural equivalent of nowhere.

My suggestion was online. There were writing groups available, places like NaNoWriMo and WordPress. But my most sincere suggestion was Helium.com.

I still don’t know if he took me seriously, but my reasoning still stands. Helium.com is a great place to build a portfolio. I know for fact that without my Helium profile I wouldn’t have gotten nearly as much interest on Odesk.

It doesn’t matter if you are a master wordsmith or not, because there is the option to proofread your work and make it better. And trust me, the more you write, the better you become. It’s all about practice.

I keep hoping to find a work opportunity on Odesk and so far I’ve been blessed. The goal is to still find a steady income and have a napping baby in the next room. Hopefully soon.

Great Movie Villains

This *only* took me four months to write,but here it is, the best actors to play villains.

Inspiration in all its forms

So I am brushing away the tears from my eyes after reading the blog “Morning Story & Dilbert.” I am a practicing Christian. I struggle just like any believer of any faith, but I still know Jesus as my savior.

After my marriage I felt as if I had drifted away from the church and the daily habits that helped me maintain a channel open to God. It worried me.

I spent most of my teen years going to church, flipping through the Bible and letting more devoted and vocal followers color my perception of what I was reading. It wasn’t until the end of my first marriage that I realized I was a Bible scholar, not a Christian.

The difference? Head knowledge vs. heart knowledge. There is an old adage around the church community, “Many people have head knowledge of Jesus and his life, but few of those people have had a personal experience with him.” For those who roll their eyes and scoff at the idea of having an experience with something they can’t see. All I can tell you is, if you meet a true Christian a person who honestly believes what Christ taught, you will see something… Other worldly and genuine. I can’t put it into words, but it is a real experience. It just might lead you to explore your own relationship with Christ.

I felt this as I read “Morning Story” I felt the tug of conviction. Whether these are collected blog posts from other sources or not there is a definite eye for genuineness.

But I’ve never been good with sermons. And I honestly didn’t plan on giving one, but my reason for writing this is the post “the Flower.” I have it in my Twitter feed if you’re interested. (@UrtonBw)

Anyway, this post was the story of a pastor who was approached by a little boy. The boy asked for his lapel flower. When the pastor asked about his interest, the boy said he wanted to give it to his grandmother for taking him in.

This post, hit home for me. As I mentioned earlier, my first marriage ended in divorce. I am now remarried and wonderfully blessed!

But in those dark days of divorce, it was my grandparents who took me in. I lived with them for six months. I tried to be useful and I tried my best to express my gratitude. When I had worked long enough to move into my own place, I left knowing I was in God’s will and that this path would always lead me to the places I belonged.

This has held true. But recently my grandparents have ran into some challenges. I won’t go into great detail, but I will say they are health related.

Grandpa is a retired preacher (if there is such a thing) and Grandma has been his steady, resilient partner in this life. They have served God together and raised six unique and self-reliant children (they always say I am the 7th.)

I know that bodies wear out, that minds slowly slip away. I also know that I am not the first to watch someone they love crumble into dust before their eyes. But I had hoped, I had prayed that God would have called them home before this misery had started.

But to quote my grandmother,

We don’t always
get our druthers.

I of course knew what she meant by this, but I had always thought she would some how side step it. The young girl who married at 17 and raised all her children alone while Grandpa traveled with the Union to provide for them would be granted a graceful exit.

But it looks like I’m wrong. I wonder if I will ever be able to express my love for them. I know that she isn’t on her deathbed, far from it, but I hate to see her suffer.

I always thought if I could be half the woman she is, I would have had a successful life. I still feel that way, but I see that everyone’s life is cloaked in mystery. We really can’t have our druthers, no matter how much we deserve them in human eyes.